The kink
dictionary.

Rope & restraint

Rope bondage uses rope for agreed restraint, positioning, or its appearance. Interest in tying and interest in being tied are separate preferences. Liking the visual style does not imply wanting restraint or suspension.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Tying / restraining, Being tied / restrained, or both.

Sensation play

Sensation play focuses attention on touch and contrasting sensations. It can be gentle or intense; liking one sensation does not mean liking every other sensation. The test asks separately about creating and receiving sensations.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Creating sensations, Receiving sensations, or both.

Impact play

Impact play refers to consensual striking as part of an agreed experience. The person giving impact and the person receiving it may want very different things. This broad category does not specify an acceptable intensity or technique.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Giving impact, Receiving impact, or both.

Roleplay

Roleplay means adopting an agreed character, relationship, or fictional situation. It can center on imagination, dialogue, costume, or a power dynamic. Enjoying fictional roles does not imply wanting the same relationship in everyday life.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Praise

Praise involves appreciation, encouragement, or affirming language that has personal meaning. Some people prefer giving it, others receiving it, and some both. Praise can be part of a power dynamic without requiring one.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Giving praise, Receiving praise, or both.

Playful teasing

Playful teasing uses agreed anticipation, humor, or withholding of an expected response. Its meaning depends on the people involved. Teasing someone enjoys is different from ignoring their stated limits or causing unwanted distress.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Teasing, Being teased, or both.

Rituals & protocol

Rituals and protocol are mutually agreed routines, forms of address, or ways of interacting. Their appeal may come from structure, symbolism, or connection. A preference for a ritual does not imply agreement to rules outside that context.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Service

Service centers on doing agreed tasks or offering attention as part of a chosen dynamic. In this test, the two roles are serving and being served. Service can be meaningful without involving pain, humiliation, or a permanent power arrangement.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Being served, Serving, or both.

Psychological play

Psychological play emphasizes anticipation, imagination, trust, or an agreed sense of control. The term is broad, so the test records interest rather than assuming specific activities. Manipulation outside an agreed context is not implied by this preference.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Guiding the experience, Being guided, or both.

Outfits & aesthetics

Outfits and aesthetics describe an interest in the look, texture, or symbolism of clothing and styling. Someone may enjoy wearing an outfit, seeing it on a partner, or both. An aesthetic preference alone does not specify a role.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Watching / being seen

Watching and being seen are separate interests. Here they refer only to situations where everyone involved knowingly agrees, including anyone observing. Neither an exhibitionist nor a voyeuristic preference gives permission to involve unaware people.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Watching, Being watched, or both.

Slow, sensual connection

Slow, sensual connection emphasizes unhurried attention, affection, and touch. It may sit alongside intense or highly structured interests. Choosing this category does not make someone less kinky or tell us what other activities they enjoy.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Leather & harnesses

Leather and harnesses can appeal through texture, appearance, symbolism, or community identity. Wearing an item and enjoying its appearance on someone else are different experiences. The material itself does not determine a person's role or boundaries.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Latex & rubber

Latex and rubber interests may focus on the appearance, feel, clothing, or associated aesthetics of these materials. They do not automatically imply an interest in restraint or a particular power dynamic.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Feet & footwear

Feet and footwear can be a focus of attraction, aesthetics, attention, or an agreed ritual. Interest in feet, shoes, and boots can overlap without being identical. This broad test category is a starting point for a more specific conversation.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Adult pet-role play

Adult pet-role play involves consenting adults adopting animal-inspired roles or a handler role. The appeal may be playful, nurturing, expressive, or structured. This category concerns adult roleplay, not interactions with actual animals.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Handler role, Pet role, or both.

Brat / tamer dynamics

Brat and tamer dynamics use agreed playful resistance or challenge within a chosen interaction. A brat role does not mean that real refusals should be ignored. The people involved need a clear distinction between play and genuine boundaries.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Tamer role, Brat role, or both.

Primal roleplay

Primal roleplay emphasizes instinctive expression or an agreed pursuer-and-pursued dynamic. It does not necessarily involve pain or restraint. Interest in a role describes a preference, not permission for an unplanned pursuit.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Pursuer role, Pursued role, or both.

Nurturing dynamics

Nurturing dynamics center on reassurance, guidance, comfort, or being cared for. They may be part of an ongoing dynamic or a particular moment. Caregiving preferences do not imply age-related roleplay; those are separate interests.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Caregiver role, Receiving care, or both.

Agreed rules & discipline

Agreed rules and discipline involve structure and negotiated responses within a chosen dynamic. Setting rules and following them are different roles. The test does not assume any particular consequence or permission to punish outside an agreement.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Setting agreed rules, Following agreed rules, or both.

Blindfolds & sensory focus

Blindfolds change how much someone relies on sight and may emphasize other sensations or trust. Guiding a blindfolded partner and wearing a blindfold are separate preferences. This does not imply interest in all forms of sensory restriction.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Guiding a blindfolded partner, Wearing a blindfold, or both.

Temperature sensations

Temperature play explores interest in contrasting warmth and coolness. Preferences vary by sensation and context. Selecting this category is not an endorsement of any temperature, substance, or method; the dictionary definition is not a how-to guide.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Creating sensations, Receiving sensations, or both.

Negotiated humiliation

Negotiated humiliation uses specifically agreed embarrassment or language within a scene. The meaning, limits, and desired emotional tone are personal. Interest in this category does not mean accepting ordinary disrespect, abuse, or unwanted insults.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Giving, Receiving, or both.

Costumes & fictional personas

Costumes and fictional personas use clothing or characters to shape an imagined situation. They may overlap with roleplay, but someone can enjoy a costume without wanting to act out a character or authority relationship.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Spanking

Spanking is a specific form of impact play. Someone may prefer giving it, receiving it, imagining it, or none of those. Interest in spanking does not imply enjoying other forms of impact or any particular intensity.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Giving, Receiving, or both.

Cuffs & restraint gear

Cuffs and restraint gear are used in agreed restriction of movement. Their appeal may be physical, visual, or symbolic. Applying restraints and wearing them are different roles, and interest in gear does not imply interest in rope or suspension.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Applying restraints, Wearing restraints, or both.

Massage & touch

Massage and touch can emphasize relaxation, focused attention, or sensual connection. Giving and receiving are separate preferences. Choosing this category does not indicate willingness for other activities or suggest professional massage services.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Giving, Receiving, or both.

Scratching

Scratching is an interest in a particular type of touch or sensation. Some people prefer giving, receiving, or only imagining it. The test does not assume that someone wants lasting marks simply because they select this interest.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Giving, Receiving, or both.

Biting

Biting can be an imagined or agreed sensation within intimate play. Giving and receiving may have different appeal. A preference here does not specify force, location, lasting marks, or permission to act without a conversation.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Giving, Receiving, or both.

Negotiated control

Negotiated control means choosing to lead, follow, or exchange authority within agreed limits. It may apply to a single experience or a broader dynamic. Preferring one role strongly is not less valid than enjoying both roles.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Leading, Following, or both.

Anticipation & delayed gratification

Anticipation and delayed gratification focus on waiting, pacing, or an agreed delay in a desired experience. Someone may prefer setting the pace or following it. The category does not assume a particular activity or indefinite control.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Setting the pace, Following the pace, or both.

Commands & obedience

Commands and obedience involve agreed directions and a chosen response within a dynamic. Giving and following directions are separate preferences. A role is limited to what the people involved have actually agreed, and agreement can change.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Giving agreed commands, Following agreed commands, or both.

Body appreciation & worship

Body appreciation and worship focus attention on a partner's body through agreed admiration or care. Giving attention and receiving it can appeal differently. This category does not imply interest in every body part or every form of attention.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Receiving attention, Giving attention, or both.

Mirrors & self-observation

Mirrors and self-observation describe interest in seeing oneself or a shared experience. This can be about visual connection or self-expression. It does not imply wanting an audience, recording, or public exposure.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Lingerie & dressing up

Lingerie and dressing up can be about texture, confidence, aesthetics, or a chosen persona. Wearing it and appreciating it on someone else are different interests. Clothing preferences do not determine gender, orientation, or power roles.

In Kinkmeter, this is a shared-interest category; no leading or following role is assumed.

Erotic talk

Erotic talk describes an interest in intimate language between consenting adults. Speaking and listening can have different appeal. Preferred words and tone vary, so this category does not imply permission for degrading language or unsolicited messages.

In Kinkmeter, you can choose Speaking, Listening, or both.

Thighs

An attraction centred on thighs — their shape, their softness or strength, and being close to them. Like other body-focused interests this says nothing about what somebody wants done, only about what draws their eye.

Legs

An attraction centred on legs, sometimes tied to hosiery, heels or the way they are shown rather than to the legs alone. Interest here does not imply interest in feet, which is a separate preference.

Hips & waist

An attraction to the line of the waist and hips. It often overlaps with an interest in corsetry or shapewear, but plenty of people are drawn to the shape with nothing added.

Stomachs

An attraction to the belly and midriff, soft or firm. Bodies vary enormously here and so do preferences; this category covers the attraction rather than any particular body type.

Backs & shoulders

An attraction to backs and shoulders. It frequently sits alongside an interest in scratching or marking, though one does not require the other.

Arms & hands

An attraction to arms and hands — their strength, their appearance, or the way they are used. Interest in hands often overlaps with an interest in being held or restrained by them.

Necks & throats

An attraction to necks and throats, including kissing, biting or simply the sight of one. This is distinct from breath play, which is about restricting air and carries real risk.

Mouths & lips

An attraction to mouths and lips — kissing, the look of them, or what a mouth is used for. Interest in the first does not imply interest in the rest.

Eye contact

An interest in sustained eye contact as the charged part of an encounter. For some people it is more intimate than touch, and for others it is uncomfortable; neither reaction is unusual.

Hair

An attraction to hair — its length, colour or feel. This is about appearance and touch; hair pulling as a sensation is a separate interest listed on its own.

A muscular build

An attraction to visible strength and muscle. Some people are drawn to the look, others to what it implies about being lifted or held; those are different preferences.

A softer, fuller build

An attraction to fuller, softer bodies. It is a preference like any other on this list and carries no judgement about any body, including the person answering.

Curves

An attraction to pronounced curves and the shapes they make. Overlaps with several other body interests and does not stand in for any of them.

Tattoos & piercings

An attraction to tattoos and piercings, whether for the artwork, the hardware or what having them suggests. Some people are drawn to specific placements rather than to ink generally.

A partner's voice

An attraction to a partner's voice — tone, accent, volume, or what it does when they give an instruction. It often sits alongside an interest in erotic talk but is not the same thing.

Chests & nipples

Attention paid to the chest and nipples, by hand, mouth or with clamps. Sensitivity varies enormously between people and over time, so this category covers a very wide range.

Backsides

An attraction to the backside. It overlaps with spanking and with anal interests, but it is its own preference and implies neither of them.

Oral sex

Oral sex, giving or receiving. These are genuinely separate preferences and many people feel very differently about each, so the test asks about the interest rather than assuming a role.

Long make-out sessions

Extended kissing as the point of the encounter rather than a step toward something else. Often valued for closeness rather than escalation.

Grinding & dry humping

Friction through clothing. For many people this is a whole encounter in itself rather than a prelude, and the clothing is part of the appeal.

Quickies

Deliberately fast, opportunistic sex. The appeal is usually the urgency and the circumstances rather than the duration.

Morning sex

Sex on waking. Often slower, less planned and less performative than sex later in the day, which is generally the attraction.

Shower & bath sex

Sex in a shower or bath. Worth knowing that water washes away natural lubrication and makes surfaces slippery; most people who enjoy this plan around both.

Outdoors

Sex outdoors. Where there is a genuine chance of being seen this overlaps with exhibitionism, and the law on public exposure applies regardless of how private a spot feels.

Stripping & lap dances

Undressing or dancing for a partner as a performance. The appeal is usually being watched and in control of the pace, which makes it quite different from simply undressing.

Trying new positions

An interest in trying and collecting new positions rather than settling into a familiar few. Often sits alongside broader curiosity about variety.

Being pinned down

Being held in place by a partner's body rather than by equipment. Many people who enjoy this have no interest in rope or cuffs at all; the appeal is the person, not the restraint.

Being picked up or manhandled

Being picked up, moved or repositioned by a partner's strength. Related to being pinned, but about motion rather than stillness.

Anal play

Anal play, from external touch to penetration, giving or receiving. Preparation, lubricant and pace matter more here than almost anywhere else, and interest in one direction says nothing about the other.

Strap-ons & pegging

Use of a harnessed dildo for penetration. Any partner of any gender can wear one or receive, and the interest is frequently about the dynamic as much as the act.

Orgasm control & denial

Controlling when or whether orgasm happens, by agreement. It can run for minutes or for weeks, and the appeal is usually the anticipation rather than the restriction itself.

Sex toys

An interest in sex toys of any kind, used alone or with a partner. Body-safe materials and cleaning matter; porous materials cannot be properly sterilised.

Threesomes & group play

Sex involving more than two people. Interest here says nothing about which configurations appeal, and clear agreement between everybody involved is what makes it work.

Rough, hard sex

Deliberately forceful sex — pace, grip, being pushed around. It overlaps with impact play and with intensity generally, but plenty of people want one and not the others.

Being obviously wanted

The appeal of being visibly and unmistakably desired. For many people this is the whole point of an encounter, and its absence is felt more than any particular act.

Making someone lose their composure

The appeal of being the one who makes somebody else lose their composure. Related to power dynamics but not dependent on them; it can be entirely mutual.

Being claimed or marked as taken

An interest in being claimed, marked or referred to as somebody's, by agreement. The appeal is usually the belonging rather than the control.

Not being told what is going to happen

The appeal of not being told what is going to happen. This relies on trust and on limits agreed beforehand; a surprise is only enjoyable inside boundaries both people already know.

Being seen at your most exposed

The appeal of being seen at your most exposed — emotionally rather than physically. For some people this is the most intimate thing on this list.

Aftercare

Attention and care after an encounter, which can mean quiet, food, water, blankets or simply company. Needs differ between people and between scenes, and asking beforehand is normal.